Road Rage

Y'all.  I almost died this morning.  Seriously.

I was driving along, and merged into a turn lane.  This turn lane is a turn left only lane, even though it is in the center of the road.  It's not one of those, turn left OR turn right lanes.  So as I'm merging, this guy in a red pickup truck (this detail is not relevant at all, but I feel compelled to include it) starts to merge into the turn lane, crossing the center line.  Like 1/2 way in the lane.  So what do I do?

Jerk my car over to avoid dying while blowing the horn, of course, all while screaming obscenities.  Then I have to get back in the center turn lane.  So I sat there for a moment so I could try to comprehend what just happened, which I normally wouldn't do.  I look in my rear view and this guy makes a totally illegal U-turn in the middle of the road, comes back toward me from behind, passes me and TURNS IN FRONT OF ME across traffic.  I was fucking livid.

This asshole has a ham biscuit in his mouth as he goes by me.

I about lost my shit.

I followed him and contemplated harassing him but I knew if I got out of my car SOMEBODY would be going to jail and it may just be me. 

And that doesn't look good being a cop's wife.